And since hate creates stress, or even unhealthy states of mind which can lead to disastrous consequences, it is not beneficial to anyone. This in the light of the idea that all beings seek happiness and are rightful to pursue it.
Granted. When it comes to seeking happiness, I find it comes when you're doing the things you enjoy doing. Its something that can't be caught, it comes to you automatically when you've made peace with yourself.
Finally, you do not have to forgive anyone. That is religious dogma being fed to you. I am a firm believer that some things simply can't be taken back or made up for. However, this doesn't mean you should manifest it into negative actions or hate.
I agree quite strongly with this. Its sort of a fine balance between the two. Don't forgive the fella, but don't hate them either.
Rain can cause depression, anger, sadness, etc. You really don't want to go outside because you'll get wet and are forced to stay inside, but you really want to go outside and enjoy the sun. The sun's beautiful, it just brings out the whole summer feel that most get excited about. Sometimes we get wet by that rain and its not fun, especially when that rain turns into hail and hurts like heck.
I know this was not supposed to be taken literally, but I hate the sun and love the rain (at least at the time being). It's summer over here and we just had a heat wave which was horrible, yet in another state there were some pretty awful floods.
My point is that I think there needs to be a balance between the two.
Somehow you feel less alone when someone else can relate to what you've been through. So thanks for sharing. I went through exactly what you just described before. And you're right, its not pretty. Hurt me deeply.. haha, thats an understatement.. She destroyed me.. The me of 2 years ago, is dead. I was able to build myself back to be a much stronger person now thanks to support from my family and friends. You could say it triggered somewhat of an epiphany.. Being sad is a choice. Being offended by what someone says is a choice. Hell, getting angry is a choice. In the end, you are in control.
That's exactly what happened to me these times I was hurt - I ended up having a sort of an epiphany. It's not so much an epiphany as a slow realization, though. I believe that we are most introspective when we hurt, perhaps in part because we're trying to figure out what went wrong, why it happened, and how we can fix the situation or how to fix ourselves so that the situation doesn't occur again in the future. Precisely as you said, it seems that the solution you came to was to give trust in small amounts; you've realized how to prevent something like that from happening to you again. While your solution isn't exactly what I would say is optimal; while it would certainly be a step in protecting yourself from being hurt again, it would also affect your ability to form deep relationships with people. This may give you a less-than-optimistic outlook on life, you'd see people as shallow. I know because I'm there... but I know that if I want to have a deep relationship with someone again, I've got to let them come near me.
As for the God stuff, I'd love to chat about that with you, but I'd rather go over that elsewhere where it's more appropriate.
Finally, you do not have to forgive anyone. That is religious dogma being fed to you. I am a firm believer that some things simply can't be taken back or made up for. However, this doesn't mean you should manifest it into negative actions or hate.
It's foolish to dismiss something simply because it's religious dogma. To do so is to fail to examine its meaning and the reason it exists. And even so, can you dispute that forgiveness is inherently a good thing? Is it not right to set right a wrong? Anyway, I tend to think of forgiveness as a response. (Full disclosure: I also agree that there are some things that can't be taken back or made up for, but these number very, very few compared to the things that can. Are you willing to risk not even bothering mending something that turned out to actually be mendable?).
It's foolish to dismiss something simply because it's religious dogma. To do so is to fail to examine its meaning and the reason it exists. And even so, can you dispute that forgiveness is inherently a good thing? Is it not right to set right a wrong? Anyway, I tend to think of forgiveness as a response. (Full disclosure: I also agree that there are some things that can't be taken back or made up for, but these number very, very few compared to the things that can. Are you willing to risk not even bothering mending something that turned out to actually be mendable?).
I wasn't dismissing the idea just because it was dogma, but that fact certainly didn't help it! I never said forgiveness is a bad thing either. Just that it isn't mandatory. You should forgive because the situation calls for it, nothing more.
Ok, I see what you're saying now. Forgiveness shouldn't be forced (but imo, it should be encouraged). The world would be a lot better if people held grudges less. :)
I think that's kind of begging the question, though. If we lived in an age of savagery, hate would likely be part of the norm. I should also point out that the word "savage" essentially means uncivilized; I would also venture to postulate that most uncivilized people don't really have much of a concept of right and wrong beyond what they feel at the present moment. They may have a sense of right and wrong, but I can't imagine they ponder about these things as we do. After all, we know of the Greek and Roman philosophers, but have you ever heard of Gaul philosophers?
In any case, I'm not advocating a wishy-washy "be nice to everybody" attitude; the world is a very harsh place, and you can't always trust people, much less with the key to your heart. However, you don't have to be harsh like the world. You can swim against the currents and stand as an example to others. Would you rather be a saint among men or a brute among beasts?
Im just a realist..... to forgive because you think that makes you a "better" person is lying to yourself. Which makes you a fool.
The term "uncivilized" is intended to insult a way of life. I for one would perfer the human race never left the stone age. Meh....too late for that.
The term "philosophers" generally is a class of people well off and far removed for the realaties of the world.
In reality every society has its "philosophers". Even if their wisdom will never be quoted in any historical book. If you dbout thinkers existed in every society through out the ages, then you are a fool.
Anyways..... I may forgive a person I hate for things they have done.... but that wont stop me from hating the person.....
Then again.... I hate lots of things..... you just gotta deal with it and move on......
cant let your emotions be getting the better of you.
for example when people flame blizzards forums and get banned lol
Im just a realist..... to forgive because you think that makes you a "better" person is lying to yourself. Which makes you a fool.
There's a word for people like you: defeatist. I'm by no means an idealist either; I fully realize the faults of the world, but I also realize that throwing up your hands in the air and doing nothing is idiotic. To do so is to be part of why the world sucks so much. Forgiveness is not about arrogantly getting on a high horse to feel better about yourself; it's more about doing something that ought to be thought as sane and exemplary, perhaps inspirational. It makes life easier for yourself and for others. You obviously have accepted the "is" of the world, but have you given much thought to the "ought to be"? Nevertheless, while heaven cannot be recreated on earth, earth doesn't have to be hell.
The term "uncivilized" is intended to insult a way of life. I for one would perfer the human race never left the stone age. Meh....too late for that.
I took it from the dictionary definition for "savage" - now, if you didn't want to denigrate certain ways of life, why would you have used a word that carries such undertones?
The term "philosophers" generally is a class of people well off and far removed for the realaties of the world.
I brought that up merely to illustrate that savages - and I use the term as you used it in your previous post - do not rise to the kind of intellectual sophistication civilization often tends to produce. Their folklore may be rich and exquisitely detailed, brimming with wisdom passed down from ancestors, but never will you see anything even barely resembling the pontifications of a philosopher or theologian as we are often familiar with.
In reality every society has its "philosophers". Even if their wisdom will never be quoted in any historical book. If you dbout thinkers existed in every society through out the ages, then you are a fool.
I very much doubt members of African tribal communities see intellectualism as a virtue.
Now, I believe we're off-topic. We were talking about whether or not it was okay to hate someone. I think the general consensus here is that it's really not a good idea to bottle up that hatred.
I very much doubt members of African tribal communities see intellectualism as a virtue.
And in comparison to today's English student, Shakespear is an illiterate. For his time he was very eloquent, though.
@topic:
"Love one's neighbor as oneself." - I'm using a slightly modified version as my rule of conduct:
"Love your neighbor as he loves you."
If someone shows to me that he dislikes me or wants to piss me off, then I have no problem returning this feeling.
But if someone is polite or friendly, then I am too. Even if there are things I dislike about that person, I'll hold back for his sake.
I do know a few people I really hated (luckily I have no contact to any of them anymore) and I'd be the last person who cares if they drop dead tomorrow.
Is it okay to hate someone?
What if we all said no?
Could you just stop hating him? I don't think so. You might try to act like it on the outside, but in actuality you'd still despise him.
It doesn't matter if it's ok or not. That's how you feel and that's how you should feel.
As SoulCarverr said: the important thing is not to let emotions get the better of you.
"Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain stregnth. Through stregnth I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory...my chains are broken." - a Sith proverb
Hate is a natural part of human nature. Hating isn't bad by default. We all hate, that is how we are. It's bad, when you become obsessed with it. In that moment, it turns you into something less than a human being. Even lower than an animal.
Let's see what my resident book on the functions of human emotions says on it. Note that I'm translating this freely as no English translation exists. Wall of text incoming.
Turned away from - Rejecting - Hateful
Say goodbye. The emotions 'turned away from', 'defensive from' and 'hatefulness' invite you to leave certain people. If you hate these emotions, you will try to surpress them as long as possible. From a certain moment this becomes impossible - your 'turning away from' turns into pure hate. You are warned by your own 'organism' that there is a connection that is asking to be broken.
To take a sideroad, here's an example all of us will know; If somebody, at the job, accepts happenings that he shouldn't actually be accepting, if he doesn't show his limits, he will continue to get more angry inside. He will hide this until it is no longer possible - he explodes at home. Partner and kids can take the blows. His anger is aimed at the wrong target. In this way, you do will not always exactly know against who your hate is aimed. Who is making you sick, and with whom you should be breaking your relation.
If you are plagued by emotions from this cluster, it will mean that you have already waited too long with saying goodbye. That will probably be, because you are actually of the opinion that you should not be allowed to have such emotions of hate and distastefulness. That it is not loving and harmonic to feel so rejecting to somebody. Maybe you think that rejection and hate should be defeated by understanding and love. You could however, simply see these emotions as a signal for you to move on without this connection.
There is another 'but', though. It could be possible, that you are feeling rejection out of fear for the other end of the paradox - fear for a repressed need for a close connection. Out of fear for a close bond you flee in deterrence and rejection.
To answer your question - I don't think it is 'wrong' to feel any kind of emotion, because all of them have their functions. The idea should simply be that you use them as a guidance system, and don't go overboard on either ignoring them (feigning apathy) or letting them take you over (destructive passion). It doesn't really become 'wrong' until the emotion causes you to inflict physical harm upon someone.
Scum like that doesn't even deserve to stick to the bottom of your shoes. You have a right to strongly dislike him, but please do not wish harm to anyone. it is one thing to think to yourself, I am glad that relationship is dead, and it is another thing to want them burned to a crisp.
The term "philosophers" generally is a class of people well off and far removed for the realaties of the world.
In reality every society has its "philosophers". Even if their wisdom will never be quoted in any historical book. If you dbout thinkers existed in every society through out the ages, then you are a fool.
From a google search of 'Define: Phlosopher':
Quote:
a wise person who is calm and rational; someone who lives a life of reason with equanimity
the rational investigation of questions about existence and knowledge and ethics
Which means that anyone who isn't a complete idiot is in a way a philosopher. I'm sure it's not just me who has thought of questions such as 'Why does life exist', even if you immediately dismiss it. Philosophy and Science are closely linked, although science focuses on the practical things such as 'How does evolution work?' and philosophy is more of 'What is the point of evolution if we are going to die in the end anyway?'. Plus philosophy is always wrong, even when it's right. Same with science.
So yeah... short, pointless paragraph on nothing in particular...
I'm not entirely sure what definition of 'philosopher' you are looking for, but I like the one described in Plato's/Socrates' (Latter said it, first wrote it) in "The Republic". Those are people who didn't just came up with "why would life exist? Ah, hell if I know" but followed up on it and attempted to hold completely objective discussions on the subjects of good vs evil (what are they?), how should a state be ruled and "is the just or unjust man happier?". Folks like these have existed pretty much all through time, though I'd hardly say that your next door neighbour Fred could be counted among them. They're scientists of morals, so to speak.
Shoots you*. Im happy now.. but that wasn`t very fair to you was it?;p
@FuzzYD
Firstly. I think that you have to establish that he did not "steal" her from you. It was ultimately her choice:/. If she had such flawed tendencies to start off with(Such as lying to you, betraying you , etc) You should in actual fact be happy that the culmination of that realization occurred much sooner than later.
See, I personally like to believe that the Universe is not out to screw any of us. In contrast, I think it has our best interests at intention. Our evolution begins and ends in our spirit/mind. Meaning, every challenge in life is meant to grow/evolve you as a person. There is a reason and corresponding purpose to everything.
The way I see it is;
1. You have an opportunity to realize that we, as humans, have no real possession over anything. Whether, She was married to you or she was your gf or anything. The code clearly states;
If "Desires not fulfilled" == true
Choice()
If my mother had realized that earlier, and left my father, She would have been much more happier. I personally think that women should not be "bound" under any circumstances. They dont become "Soul-bound" to you(WoW reference),
2. Life is competition. Everything is competition. How you view it is really important. Over such a thing as "getting" the girl in the end. I`d have to say its a matter of accepting defeat, should she not choose you, and declaring GG. Not need to hate or rage:/. I used to do that!, but not anymore. I actually became friends with this guy I really hated because we realized our feud was childish.(we both went for the same girl, but then realized she wasn`t worth it) . Its always usually a case of one`s pride/ego being bruised.
3. Can someone really change? If they've lied to you once, they can lie to you again. She won't get a second chance if she comes back begging to get back together.
People can change to a certain degree. I think everyone also deserves a second chance. Im not saying, wait for her or anything, no no. You must definitely move on and enjoy whomever you meet in the present/future!.
4. Do you think it's wrong to hate someone?
Yeah Kinda;p.
I have no doubt that you`ll meet a far better woman! one day;p. The problem is not you in this equation, its her. Her loss. Women can be like that. She betrayed/lied to you and everything, but you made peace with that and for that I do respect you.
Try not to let this situation get to you. If you seek to rise above it, you`ll find your answers. Suppression does nothing. Wisdom = Illumination = Freedom = Happiness.
In the direction this thread is going, I think it's most interesting what our history and society (etc.) has taught us to believe vs. what's natural for humans. It's natural to feel hatred, sadness, happiness etc... but is it natural to hate someone and bomb their people/buildings? How badly did the West piss off certain groups in the Middle East to make them do that... or is it just archaic religious arguments?
Is it natural to see a good looking stranger when you're in a relationship and desire that person? (While outwardly you can't express that desire... well some do... cough affairs).
Is it natural to like Justin Bieber??????????
I think the more we become a global people and closer connected (we already are SO connected to each-other as the OP mentions with facebook)... that pretty soon we'll be all linked into the internet 24/7 and have a 'Protoss' mind (yeah, sc2 link!).
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Granted. When it comes to seeking happiness, I find it comes when you're doing the things you enjoy doing. Its something that can't be caught, it comes to you automatically when you've made peace with yourself.
@Karawasa: Go
I agree quite strongly with this. Its sort of a fine balance between the two. Don't forgive the fella, but don't hate them either.
@StatusQ3: Go
By the way, Love the metaphorical post up above. Very profound :) I couldn't have phrased it better myself.
I know this was not supposed to be taken literally, but I hate the sun and love the rain (at least at the time being). It's summer over here and we just had a heat wave which was horrible, yet in another state there were some pretty awful floods.
My point is that I think there needs to be a balance between the two.
I completely agree and like a lot of other things in this world, if you have too much it then its not good for you.
Whoaaaaaaa. Lots of stuff went on while I was away. Alright, let's see what 2ยข I can throw in this time.
That's exactly what happened to me these times I was hurt - I ended up having a sort of an epiphany. It's not so much an epiphany as a slow realization, though. I believe that we are most introspective when we hurt, perhaps in part because we're trying to figure out what went wrong, why it happened, and how we can fix the situation or how to fix ourselves so that the situation doesn't occur again in the future. Precisely as you said, it seems that the solution you came to was to give trust in small amounts; you've realized how to prevent something like that from happening to you again. While your solution isn't exactly what I would say is optimal; while it would certainly be a step in protecting yourself from being hurt again, it would also affect your ability to form deep relationships with people. This may give you a less-than-optimistic outlook on life, you'd see people as shallow. I know because I'm there... but I know that if I want to have a deep relationship with someone again, I've got to let them come near me.
As for the God stuff, I'd love to chat about that with you, but I'd rather go over that elsewhere where it's more appropriate.
It's foolish to dismiss something simply because it's religious dogma. To do so is to fail to examine its meaning and the reason it exists. And even so, can you dispute that forgiveness is inherently a good thing? Is it not right to set right a wrong? Anyway, I tend to think of forgiveness as a response. (Full disclosure: I also agree that there are some things that can't be taken back or made up for, but these number very, very few compared to the things that can. Are you willing to risk not even bothering mending something that turned out to actually be mendable?).
Phew! This really has taken a philosophical turn.
@StatusQ3: Go
Do you......
Anyone who says... hate is bad then they need to get real.
If society wasnt so "fluffy" and we lived in an age of savagery, you wouldnt even be posing this question.
Yes any emotion can be bad for you.
Hates a completely natural reaction to things that occur and have a very negative personal effect on you.
Hate and Love are the Ying and Yang of emotions.... you can not truely have or know one with out the other.
I wasn't dismissing the idea just because it was dogma, but that fact certainly didn't help it! I never said forgiveness is a bad thing either. Just that it isn't mandatory. You should forgive because the situation calls for it, nothing more.
@Karawasa: Go
Ok, I see what you're saying now. Forgiveness shouldn't be forced (but imo, it should be encouraged). The world would be a lot better if people held grudges less. :)
@SouLCarveRR: Go
I think that's kind of begging the question, though. If we lived in an age of savagery, hate would likely be part of the norm. I should also point out that the word "savage" essentially means uncivilized; I would also venture to postulate that most uncivilized people don't really have much of a concept of right and wrong beyond what they feel at the present moment. They may have a sense of right and wrong, but I can't imagine they ponder about these things as we do. After all, we know of the Greek and Roman philosophers, but have you ever heard of Gaul philosophers?
In any case, I'm not advocating a wishy-washy "be nice to everybody" attitude; the world is a very harsh place, and you can't always trust people, much less with the key to your heart. However, you don't have to be harsh like the world. You can swim against the currents and stand as an example to others. Would you rather be a saint among men or a brute among beasts?
To be human is complex indeed...
@OneSoga: Go
Im just a realist..... to forgive because you think that makes you a "better" person is lying to yourself. Which makes you a fool.
The term "uncivilized" is intended to insult a way of life. I for one would perfer the human race never left the stone age. Meh....too late for that.
The term "philosophers" generally is a class of people well off and far removed for the realaties of the world.
In reality every society has its "philosophers". Even if their wisdom will never be quoted in any historical book. If you dbout thinkers existed in every society through out the ages, then you are a fool.
Anyways..... I may forgive a person I hate for things they have done.... but that wont stop me from hating the person.....
Then again.... I hate lots of things..... you just gotta deal with it and move on......
cant let your emotions be getting the better of you.
for example when people flame blizzards forums and get banned lol
There's a word for people like you: defeatist. I'm by no means an idealist either; I fully realize the faults of the world, but I also realize that throwing up your hands in the air and doing nothing is idiotic. To do so is to be part of why the world sucks so much. Forgiveness is not about arrogantly getting on a high horse to feel better about yourself; it's more about doing something that ought to be thought as sane and exemplary, perhaps inspirational. It makes life easier for yourself and for others. You obviously have accepted the "is" of the world, but have you given much thought to the "ought to be"? Nevertheless, while heaven cannot be recreated on earth, earth doesn't have to be hell.
I took it from the dictionary definition for "savage" - now, if you didn't want to denigrate certain ways of life, why would you have used a word that carries such undertones?
I brought that up merely to illustrate that savages - and I use the term as you used it in your previous post - do not rise to the kind of intellectual sophistication civilization often tends to produce. Their folklore may be rich and exquisitely detailed, brimming with wisdom passed down from ancestors, but never will you see anything even barely resembling the pontifications of a philosopher or theologian as we are often familiar with.
I very much doubt members of African tribal communities see intellectualism as a virtue.
Now, I believe we're off-topic. We were talking about whether or not it was okay to hate someone. I think the general consensus here is that it's really not a good idea to bottle up that hatred.
And in comparison to today's English student, Shakespear is an illiterate. For his time he was very eloquent, though.
@topic:
"Love one's neighbor as oneself." - I'm using a slightly modified version as my rule of conduct:
"Love your neighbor as he loves you."
If someone shows to me that he dislikes me or wants to piss me off, then I have no problem returning this feeling.
But if someone is polite or friendly, then I am too. Even if there are things I dislike about that person, I'll hold back for his sake.
I do know a few people I really hated (luckily I have no contact to any of them anymore) and I'd be the last person who cares if they drop dead tomorrow.
Is it okay to hate someone?
What if we all said no?
Could you just stop hating him? I don't think so. You might try to act like it on the outside, but in actuality you'd still despise him.
It doesn't matter if it's ok or not. That's how you feel and that's how you should feel.
As SoulCarverr said: the important thing is not to let emotions get the better of you.
Wasn't that.. Knights of the Old Republic? :D
Hate is a natural part of human nature. Hating isn't bad by default. We all hate, that is how we are. It's bad, when you become obsessed with it. In that moment, it turns you into something less than a human being. Even lower than an animal.
Let's see what my resident book on the functions of human emotions says on it. Note that I'm translating this freely as no English translation exists. Wall of text incoming.
Turned away from - Rejecting - Hateful
Say goodbye. The emotions 'turned away from', 'defensive from' and 'hatefulness' invite you to leave certain people. If you hate these emotions, you will try to surpress them as long as possible. From a certain moment this becomes impossible - your 'turning away from' turns into pure hate. You are warned by your own 'organism' that there is a connection that is asking to be broken.
To take a sideroad, here's an example all of us will know; If somebody, at the job, accepts happenings that he shouldn't actually be accepting, if he doesn't show his limits, he will continue to get more angry inside. He will hide this until it is no longer possible - he explodes at home. Partner and kids can take the blows. His anger is aimed at the wrong target. In this way, you do will not always exactly know against who your hate is aimed. Who is making you sick, and with whom you should be breaking your relation.
If you are plagued by emotions from this cluster, it will mean that you have already waited too long with saying goodbye. That will probably be, because you are actually of the opinion that you should not be allowed to have such emotions of hate and distastefulness. That it is not loving and harmonic to feel so rejecting to somebody. Maybe you think that rejection and hate should be defeated by understanding and love. You could however, simply see these emotions as a signal for you to move on without this connection.
There is another 'but', though. It could be possible, that you are feeling rejection out of fear for the other end of the paradox - fear for a repressed need for a close connection. Out of fear for a close bond you flee in deterrence and rejection.
To answer your question - I don't think it is 'wrong' to feel any kind of emotion, because all of them have their functions. The idea should simply be that you use them as a guidance system, and don't go overboard on either ignoring them (feigning apathy) or letting them take you over (destructive passion). It doesn't really become 'wrong' until the emotion causes you to inflict physical harm upon someone.
I agree with Mozared. It's like what I say about some games, it's there for a reason so why not use it? Use your emotions but don't let them use you.
Scum like that doesn't even deserve to stick to the bottom of your shoes. You have a right to strongly dislike him, but please do not wish harm to anyone. it is one thing to think to yourself, I am glad that relationship is dead, and it is another thing to want them burned to a crisp.
From a google search of 'Define: Phlosopher':
Which means that anyone who isn't a complete idiot is in a way a philosopher. I'm sure it's not just me who has thought of questions such as 'Why does life exist', even if you immediately dismiss it. Philosophy and Science are closely linked, although science focuses on the practical things such as 'How does evolution work?' and philosophy is more of 'What is the point of evolution if we are going to die in the end anyway?'. Plus philosophy is always wrong, even when it's right. Same with science.
So yeah... short, pointless paragraph on nothing in particular...
Just do whatever makes you happy
@Maknyuzz: Go
even if that includes double-barreled shotguns?
@wOlfLisK: Go
I'm not entirely sure what definition of 'philosopher' you are looking for, but I like the one described in Plato's/Socrates' (Latter said it, first wrote it) in "The Republic". Those are people who didn't just came up with "why would life exist? Ah, hell if I know" but followed up on it and attempted to hold completely objective discussions on the subjects of good vs evil (what are they?), how should a state be ruled and "is the just or unjust man happier?". Folks like these have existed pretty much all through time, though I'd hardly say that your next door neighbour Fred could be counted among them. They're scientists of morals, so to speak.
@FuzzYD
Firstly. I think that you have to establish that he did not "steal" her from you. It was ultimately her choice:/. If she had such flawed tendencies to start off with(Such as lying to you, betraying you , etc) You should in actual fact be happy that the culmination of that realization occurred much sooner than later.
See, I personally like to believe that the Universe is not out to screw any of us. In contrast, I think it has our best interests at intention. Our evolution begins and ends in our spirit/mind. Meaning, every challenge in life is meant to grow/evolve you as a person. There is a reason and corresponding purpose to everything.
The way I see it is;
1. You have an opportunity to realize that we, as humans, have no real possession over anything. Whether, She was married to you or she was your gf or anything. The code clearly states;
If "Desires not fulfilled" == true
Choice()
If my mother had realized that earlier, and left my father, She would have been much more happier. I personally think that women should not be "bound" under any circumstances. They dont become "Soul-bound" to you(WoW reference),
2. Life is competition. Everything is competition. How you view it is really important. Over such a thing as "getting" the girl in the end. I`d have to say its a matter of accepting defeat, should she not choose you, and declaring GG. Not need to hate or rage:/. I used to do that!, but not anymore. I actually became friends with this guy I really hated because we realized our feud was childish.(we both went for the same girl, but then realized she wasn`t worth it) . Its always usually a case of one`s pride/ego being bruised.
3. Can someone really change? If they've lied to you once, they can lie to you again. She won't get a second chance if she comes back begging to get back together.
People can change to a certain degree. I think everyone also deserves a second chance. Im not saying, wait for her or anything, no no. You must definitely move on and enjoy whomever you meet in the present/future!.
4. Do you think it's wrong to hate someone?
Yeah Kinda;p.
I have no doubt that you`ll meet a far better woman! one day;p. The problem is not you in this equation, its her. Her loss. Women can be like that. She betrayed/lied to you and everything, but you made peace with that and for that I do respect you.
Try not to let this situation get to you. If you seek to rise above it, you`ll find your answers. Suppression does nothing. Wisdom = Illumination = Freedom = Happiness.
I hate this thread.
and im fine with that...
btw that sith quote I first encounter reading the book "In Path of Destruction and Jedi"
woot just found out that there is a 3rd book in that series.... guess im heading to the book store after work..
In the direction this thread is going, I think it's most interesting what our history and society (etc.) has taught us to believe vs. what's natural for humans. It's natural to feel hatred, sadness, happiness etc... but is it natural to hate someone and bomb their people/buildings? How badly did the West piss off certain groups in the Middle East to make them do that... or is it just archaic religious arguments?
Is it natural to see a good looking stranger when you're in a relationship and desire that person? (While outwardly you can't express that desire... well some do... cough affairs).
Is it natural to like Justin Bieber??????????
I think the more we become a global people and closer connected (we already are SO connected to each-other as the OP mentions with facebook)... that pretty soon we'll be all linked into the internet 24/7 and have a 'Protoss' mind (yeah, sc2 link!).