I'm sorry for the depressing post, but I just need to vent this out somewhere. Plus, I do enjoy philosophical discussions...
Awhile back, I came to a realization that I hate the douchebag who stole my ex from me in the past (consciously or not). Everytime I bump into the fella on the street or see a photo of him on facebook, I wish a ninja would just appear and stab him multiple times in the face, cremate his corpse, piss on the ashes and have it flushed down the toilet. Hell, I don't even feel bad about having these thoughts. This is actually one of the reasons I don't use facebook much.. there are just some pictures/things/events that I'd be better off not knowing about. Ignorance is bliss.
Although I forgive my ex. Its stuck on me that she lied to me betrayed my trust, so I can't trust her anymore. Can someone really change? If they've lied to you once, they can lie to you again. She won't get a second chance if she comes back begging to get back together. I don't hate her, but I don't care if I never see her again for the rest of my days.
I've said my farewells to my ex a few months back and wished her happiness with that asshole. I've gotten my closure, so I'm just gonna happily move on to better things in life.
I had this discussion with a friend of mine awhile back. We both drew the conclusion that its okay to hate someone, so long as it doesn't bother you on a mental level. General avoidance of the person is the best way around. I'm sure some of you would disagree, but I stand staunch on my hatred of that particular person.
Is there someone you hate? Do you think it's wrong to hate someone?
I hate Marine Arena and everyone who makes it and the maker of it. Five game in a row where someone with heroes dominated, and I was killed by cheap mercs just because the game is enharitly flawed.
One game 200 of my void rays wre one shotted by an archon. Then the dude I was playing wouldn't even joke about it. Way to make a loser feel bad. (That game i was dominating to the point of 500 marines to nothing at one point, but let him live. He got an archon. He one)
On enough note the marine hero damage is useless. And ghosts suck. BTW My specter got killed instantly by the gad blang archon too.
Awww well, good games never last.
Thanks for giving me a place to rant!
More on the subject:
Well.... I'm Weird. I dislike nobody! I hate Nobody! The problem I have is the opposite is true, Someone could be my BFF before I would consider them a friend (Exaggeration). Thus, I have a problem. (This actually is my main social issue and I have social problems... kinda) Also their are people that act like they hate me, to the point of using that word to describe their relationship with me. These aren't people I like, but I see them as smart, creative people, and I take their insults hard. Gad I have problems. ANYWAY I HATE SHOTGUN ARENA!
I hardly think my opening post is a rant. I'm just voicing out what's currently bothering me. It's in no way a complaint. It's just a topic I'd like more opinions on.
Urban dictionary's definition of a rant.
Quote:
To suddenly give a long speech that usually results in rambling and repeating of nonsence.
For me, it is in no way shape or form right to hate someone, even if they stole from me or even tried to kill me. Hate leads to murder if you hold onto that hate long enough, and from what I read it seems that your going down that path(I am not trying to put you on a guilt trip.) You hate this guy so much that you basically wish he would die, how much longer till you hate him so much you'll carry out that task?
Anyway, if you can't forgive someone, how can you expect someone to forgive you? If you stole a girlfriend from another boy and he was down right angry at you to the point where he could kill you, would you not want to be forgiven? I sure would.
Again, I am really trying not to sound offensive, but in reality this is what things come to.
I agree with Status. Hating that guy won't get you anywhere. If you harbor that hatred in your heart, it will grow and fester, and it will destroy you. You don't have to like him, but the best course of action IMHO is to forget about him and if she comes back wanting forgiveness, be ready to forgive her. Whether or not you take her back is entirely up to you; I won't tell you whether or not to take her back.
It sounds like she really hurt you deeply... and I know your pain. I've been hurt by people I held dear to my heart, and at one point, I hated them for it. But what did that gain me? That gained me nothing but harm - it messed up my sleep schedule, it made me unable to focus, it just really threw my life out of order. Trust me, it's not pretty. But you know, this isn't the end of your life. I imagine you still have many years ahead of you, possibly an even better girl down the road waiting for you (but don't wait passively - go get 'em!).
I don't know if you believe in God or not, but there's a saying: God makes good come out of evil. In the end, it will work out, you'll be better off - in circumstances or in character.
I don't know if you believe in God or not, but there's a saying: God makes good come out of evil. In the end, it will work out, you'll be better off - in circumstances or in character.
If you do, there is a lot He says about forgiving, one being something along the lines of "Forgive not for the other persons well being but for yours."
And please, no religious discussions, I was really just trying to give the guy some advice, whether he takes it or not. :)
Oh no, I really wasn't trying to turn this into a religious discussion - it's just a saying I found really relevant to his situation and I thought it was sound advice.
Oh I wasn't saying you did, I was just stating for future posters, a lot of people on the internet like to chew on your words then spew them out at you.
The approach I tend to take is that I don't have to like everybody. However this doesn't mean that I behave poorly to people I don't like. I don't know if I necessarily hate someone but I am more than sure at times I have felt hatred towards something. Something could be anything from a person to a material object or opinion.
I generally don't think it is wrong to feel hatred towards something. It just depends on how extreme it is.
I don't know if this comparison works, but with addiction people are trying to get their fix or whatever it is that makes them feel really good. I think that it's kind of the same with hatred.
If you let your hatred get to the extremes, where you want to turn your hatred into actions for revenge or something like that, then it is a problem.
Its an easy thing to say "get over it", it's harder to do in practice. One thing I do know for sure is that if you bottle it up for too long, its going to cause problems.
I take "hate" as nothing but a defense mechanism. It is however built on the perception that no one than the other must dominate the situation for satisfactory conditions.
The truth of such leads to solutions, which then leads to liberation for both parties involved.
And since hate creates stress, or even unhealthy states of mind which can lead to disastrous consequences, it is not beneficial to anyone. This in the light of the idea that all beings seek happiness and are rightful to pursue it.
Thanks for the response. This does shed some light on the situation. From personal experience, forgiveness takes time. But there are just some people you can't bring yourself to forgive. Another example would be the "lead bully" during my high school years. I looked up to him and thought him as a friend, but years later I realised it was his fault I got bullied, thus leading to the self-esteem problems I faced after for a good couple of years. Sure we were just kids, but some things, they're nailed into your heart. At this point, I don't know myself If I've completely forgiven him.
If I were to ever steal someone else's girlfriend, it would likely be that the girl lied to me and told me she is single, and two timed us both (me, plus her boyfriend) behind each others back. Its against my code of honour to knowingly take something precious away from another individual. And honestly, If I found out a chick was cheating on or with me in future, I'll probably just bail. In a relationship, I put forth my honesty, thus I have this subconscious expectation that she put forth hers too. A relationship to me is pointless if it's an entangled web of lies.
No worries, I don't take any offence. Reality is harsh indeed..
Quote:
"Forgive not for the other persons well being but for yours."
This is something I need to work on. Thanks for the advice :)
IIt sounds like she really hurt you deeply... and I know your pain. I've been hurt by people I held dear to my heart, and at one point, I hated them for it. But what did that gain me? That gained me nothing but harm - it messed up my sleep schedule, it made me unable to focus, it just really threw my life out of order. Trust me, it's not pretty. But you know, this isn't the end of your life. I imagine you still have many years ahead of you, possibly an even better girl down the road waiting for you (but don't wait passively - go get 'em!).
I don't know if you believe in God or not, but there's a saying: God makes good come out of evil. In the end, it will work out, you'll be better off - in circumstances or in character.
I'm open to both your opinions. Somehow you feel less alone when someone else can relate to what you've been through. So thanks for sharing. I went through exactly what you just described before. And you're right, its not pretty. Hurt me deeply.. haha, thats an understatement.. She destroyed me.. The me of 2 years ago, is dead. I was able to build myself back to be a much stronger person now thanks to support from my family and friends. You could say it triggered somewhat of an epiphany.. Being sad is a choice. Being offended by what someone says is a choice. Hell, getting angry is a choice. In the end, you are in control.
Yes, I do believe in god. But I'm not religious. In the past, I used to say prayers, for things that never came. When I questioned why not, I would just be told, "It's not meant to be". I couldn't accept that answer.. I eventually came to the conclusion that if you want something, you have to do something about it. Praying and hoping just doesn't cut it for me anymore. Again, I don't mean to offend anyone who staunchly believes in religion. I respect every individual for what they believe in, and in exchange, I (subconsciously) expect that I'm respected in the same way.
This post was written after the post above, give me a moment to write up another in response.
Rain can cause depression, anger, sadness, etc. You really don't want to go outside because you'll get wet and are forced to stay inside, but you really want to go outside and enjoy the sun. The sun's beautiful, it just brings out the whole summer feel that most get excited about. Sometimes we get wet by that rain and its not fun, especially when that rain turns into hail and hurts like heck.
When we get wet we tend to get angry, harbor hate inside us, come into periodic states of depression, etc. Sometimes when we're that wet, we're vulnerable to the, "I don't care," state of mind. Eventually when that anger increases because its still raining outside we start thinking, "I don't care." This thought can lead to, drugs, murder and very, very immoral things. Why? Because you start thinking, "I don't care, my girlfriend didn't mean anything to me anyway," that thought will usually lead to having more girlfriends where you really don't care what they do to you. Then comes, "Whatever, I don't need a girlfriend." Your getting angry now, so angry that your getting angry at the littlest things in life, whether it be dropping a cup or a noise that bothers the heck out of you. Then you get the thought, "I don't care that I am angry." This leads to murder if you leave it be long enough. Anger isn't something you can control, it leaps out at the most unexpected moments that in the next hour, you will probably forget you were even angry.
All of that does not sound like a nice place to be when you go back to remembering when you were happy. It's not good to be angry, so many people with such bright futures get ruined by anger. If you get your towel and dry off that rain, or put that umbrella up to stop the hail, eventually the rain will stop and so will the hail. The beautiful sun is coming out now, things are looking brighter. So bright you need to put shades on.
To sum that up, when you let rain harbor on your shoulders, you get angry and it leads to destruction. If you forgive someone, you can dry off that rain and stop that hail. Soon after you've forgiven the person you are angry about the sun comes out and things are looking brighter. You have a amazing job, you have a honest girlfriend with morals and are soon getting married.
My question is, what would you rather have? Would you rather keep the rain or let the sun come out and shine all over you.
Do you want to be a giving man or a taking man? (Giving meaning, forgiveness and taking meaning, taking life because that's what anger does.)
Thanks for the response. This does shed some light on the situation. From personal experience, forgiveness takes time.
Forgiveness does indeed take time, I have not met one man that can forgive right away, but I am sure its possible, not for me though, not yet.
Quote:
But there are just some people you can't bring yourself to forgive. Another example would be the "lead bully" during my high school years. I looked up to him and thought him as a friend, but years later I realised it was his fault I got bullied, thus leading to the self-esteem problems I faced after for a good couple of years. Sure we were just kids, but some things, they're nailed into your heart. At this point, I don't know myself If I've completely forgiven him.
Ask yourself, "Why can I not forgive this person?" It's probably for selfish reasons, most humans that can't forgive have a selfish reason behind it. Yeah, he bullied you, it's not a fun place to be in, I can relate. I was bullied at my church for awhile, in fact, when a couple years ago one guy probably 4 years older then me literally pulled my pants down in front of the whole class. That angered me a lot, but I had to forgive, otherwise I would become exactly like that person, maybe even more.
Do you really want to bully people and cause them the same self-esteem issues? Just from reading some of the posts you put on these forums, I can really see in you that you don't intend to hurt anyone or cause anyone harm. I see that personality in you, even if its just over the web, it's obvious, inside you may really want to get your revenge but it's not worth it man, just forgive and move on with life. I'm not forcing you to forgive someone or even like someone. You can forgive and not have to talk to that person ever again if you want.
Quote:
If I were to ever steal someone else's girlfriend, it would likely be that the girl lied to me and told me she is single, and two timed us both (me, plus her boyfriend) behind each others back. Its against my code of honour to knowingly take something precious away from another individual. And honestly, If I found out a chick was cheating on or with me in future, I'll probably just bail. In a relationship, I put forth my honesty, thus I have this subconscious expectation that she put forth hers too. A relationship to me is pointless if it's an entangled web of lies.
Why would you want to steal her? Even after a move like that? Why would you want to have a dishonest girlfriend or even future dishonest wife? You have to forgive her though, it's not worth causing people harm. Even when your intentions might be justified, it can really backfire on you, believe me.
Quote:
No worries, I don't take any offence. Reality is harsh indeed..
Indeed it is, my friend. And if you have any questions about God or whatever be, just toss me a PM. I can tell you, "It was not meant to be," is a bunch of lies.
The OP mentions that hate is acceptable if it doesn't have any negative consequence on you. But, it always does. There is nothing wrong with hating other than it being an action that only hurts you. The other guy is banging your ex and couldn't give two fucks about you. Who loses here?
In my opinion, the worst thing you can do to someone is indifference. Let's say someone were to drop dead. A person who liked him would be sad, a person who disliked him would be happy, and a person indifferent wouldn't give a shit. You are giving no respect, disrespect, attention, thought, or care. It's like they don't exist.
Finally, you do not have to forgive anyone. That is religious dogma being fed to you. I am a firm believer that some things simply can't be taken back or made up for. However, this doesn't mean you should manifest it into negative actions or hate.
Im just going to put my simple outlook. Even though i don't hate anyone its pefectly fine to, just give them a chance for redemption every once in a while. I think if you can hate somebody as a natural impression being that you dislike them enough then its perfectly ok, its even ok for them to know that you hate them.
Why would you want to steal her? Even after a move like that? Why would you want to have a dishonest girlfriend or even future dishonest wife? You have to forgive her though, it's not worth causing people harm. Even when your intentions might be justified, it can really backfire on you, believe me.
I think you may have misinterpreted what I said here >_> I meant to imply that if I ever "stole" anyone's girlfriend, I would be totally oblivious to the fact that I did it at all, simply because the girl probably lied, played with me and said she didn't have a boyfriend, and I trusted her. If I consciously knew the girl was tied, knowing myself, I wouldn't have even made a move in the first place.
And yes, I can't bear the idea of having a dishonest girlfriend or wife, thus I'd rather just bail and move on without a second thought. Then again.. if it was a wife and you found out after years of marriage that she was being dishonest/cheating with kids and all, it gets even more complicated..
I used to trust people really easily last time, but I now, I find that its a better idea to give trust in small amounts. If you give it all and you catch them being dishonest, its likely you'll have none left to give thereafter.
Edit:
Quote:
Do you really want to bully people and cause them the same self-esteem issues? Just from reading some of the posts you put on these forums, I can really see in you that you don't intend to hurt anyone or cause anyone harm. I see that personality in you, even if its just over the web, it's obvious, inside you may really want to get your revenge but it's not worth it man, just forgive and move on with life. I'm not forcing you to forgive someone or even like someone. You can forgive and not have to talk to that person ever again if you want.
I absolutely abhor to the thought of bullying anyone. I know it's not pleasant being hurt, thus is the reason why I don't bully others. I'm most likely to go with forgive and never talk with the person ever again.
"Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain stregnth. Through stregnth I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory...my chains are broken." - a Sith proverb
This isn't about girls. Its about hatred.
I'm sorry for the depressing post, but I just need to vent this out somewhere. Plus, I do enjoy philosophical discussions...
Awhile back, I came to a realization that I hate the douchebag who stole my ex from me in the past (consciously or not). Everytime I bump into the fella on the street or see a photo of him on facebook, I wish a ninja would just appear and stab him multiple times in the face, cremate his corpse, piss on the ashes and have it flushed down the toilet. Hell, I don't even feel bad about having these thoughts. This is actually one of the reasons I don't use facebook much.. there are just some pictures/things/events that I'd be better off not knowing about. Ignorance is bliss.
Although I forgive my ex. Its stuck on me that she lied to me betrayed my trust, so I can't trust her anymore. Can someone really change? If they've lied to you once, they can lie to you again. She won't get a second chance if she comes back begging to get back together. I don't hate her, but I don't care if I never see her again for the rest of my days.
I've said my farewells to my ex a few months back and wished her happiness with that asshole. I've gotten my closure, so I'm just gonna happily move on to better things in life.
I had this discussion with a friend of mine awhile back. We both drew the conclusion that its okay to hate someone, so long as it doesn't bother you on a mental level. General avoidance of the person is the best way around. I'm sure some of you would disagree, but I stand staunch on my hatred of that particular person.
Is there someone you hate? Do you think it's wrong to hate someone?
I hate Marine Arena and everyone who makes it and the maker of it. Five game in a row where someone with heroes dominated, and I was killed by cheap mercs just because the game is enharitly flawed.
One game 200 of my void rays wre one shotted by an archon. Then the dude I was playing wouldn't even joke about it. Way to make a loser feel bad. (That game i was dominating to the point of 500 marines to nothing at one point, but let him live. He got an archon. He one)
On enough note the marine hero damage is useless. And ghosts suck. BTW My specter got killed instantly by the gad blang archon too.
Awww well, good games never last.
Thanks for giving me a place to rant!
More on the subject:
Well.... I'm Weird. I dislike nobody! I hate Nobody! The problem I have is the opposite is true, Someone could be my BFF before I would consider them a friend (Exaggeration). Thus, I have a problem. (This actually is my main social issue and I have social problems... kinda) Also their are people that act like they hate me, to the point of using that word to describe their relationship with me. These aren't people I like, but I see them as smart, creative people, and I take their insults hard. Gad I have problems. ANYWAY I HATE SHOTGUN ARENA!
I hardly think my opening post is a rant. I'm just voicing out what's currently bothering me. It's in no way a complaint. It's just a topic I'd like more opinions on.
Urban dictionary's definition of a rant.
Please don't derail this topic yes?
For me, it is in no way shape or form right to hate someone, even if they stole from me or even tried to kill me. Hate leads to murder if you hold onto that hate long enough, and from what I read it seems that your going down that path(I am not trying to put you on a guilt trip.) You hate this guy so much that you basically wish he would die, how much longer till you hate him so much you'll carry out that task?
Anyway, if you can't forgive someone, how can you expect someone to forgive you? If you stole a girlfriend from another boy and he was down right angry at you to the point where he could kill you, would you not want to be forgiven? I sure would.
Again, I am really trying not to sound offensive, but in reality this is what things come to.
I agree with Status. Hating that guy won't get you anywhere. If you harbor that hatred in your heart, it will grow and fester, and it will destroy you. You don't have to like him, but the best course of action IMHO is to forget about him and if she comes back wanting forgiveness, be ready to forgive her. Whether or not you take her back is entirely up to you; I won't tell you whether or not to take her back.
It sounds like she really hurt you deeply... and I know your pain. I've been hurt by people I held dear to my heart, and at one point, I hated them for it. But what did that gain me? That gained me nothing but harm - it messed up my sleep schedule, it made me unable to focus, it just really threw my life out of order. Trust me, it's not pretty. But you know, this isn't the end of your life. I imagine you still have many years ahead of you, possibly an even better girl down the road waiting for you (but don't wait passively - go get 'em!).
I don't know if you believe in God or not, but there's a saying: God makes good come out of evil. In the end, it will work out, you'll be better off - in circumstances or in character.
If you do, there is a lot He says about forgiving, one being something along the lines of "Forgive not for the other persons well being but for yours."
And please, no religious discussions, I was really just trying to give the guy some advice, whether he takes it or not. :)
Oh no, I really wasn't trying to turn this into a religious discussion - it's just a saying I found really relevant to his situation and I thought it was sound advice.
@OneSoga: Go
Oh I wasn't saying you did, I was just stating for future posters, a lot of people on the internet like to chew on your words then spew them out at you.
@FuzzYD: Go
The approach I tend to take is that I don't have to like everybody. However this doesn't mean that I behave poorly to people I don't like. I don't know if I necessarily hate someone but I am more than sure at times I have felt hatred towards something. Something could be anything from a person to a material object or opinion.
I generally don't think it is wrong to feel hatred towards something. It just depends on how extreme it is.
I don't know if this comparison works, but with addiction people are trying to get their fix or whatever it is that makes them feel really good. I think that it's kind of the same with hatred.
If you let your hatred get to the extremes, where you want to turn your hatred into actions for revenge or something like that, then it is a problem.
Its an easy thing to say "get over it", it's harder to do in practice. One thing I do know for sure is that if you bottle it up for too long, its going to cause problems.
I take "hate" as nothing but a defense mechanism. It is however built on the perception that no one than the other must dominate the situation for satisfactory conditions.
The truth of such leads to solutions, which then leads to liberation for both parties involved.
And since hate creates stress, or even unhealthy states of mind which can lead to disastrous consequences, it is not beneficial to anyone. This in the light of the idea that all beings seek happiness and are rightful to pursue it.
Whatever you do, wholeheartedly, moment by heartfelt moment, becomes a tool for the expression of your very soul.
@StatusQ3: Go
Thanks for the response. This does shed some light on the situation. From personal experience, forgiveness takes time. But there are just some people you can't bring yourself to forgive. Another example would be the "lead bully" during my high school years. I looked up to him and thought him as a friend, but years later I realised it was his fault I got bullied, thus leading to the self-esteem problems I faced after for a good couple of years. Sure we were just kids, but some things, they're nailed into your heart. At this point, I don't know myself If I've completely forgiven him.
If I were to ever steal someone else's girlfriend, it would likely be that the girl lied to me and told me she is single, and two timed us both (me, plus her boyfriend) behind each others back. Its against my code of honour to knowingly take something precious away from another individual. And honestly, If I found out a chick was cheating on or with me in future, I'll probably just bail. In a relationship, I put forth my honesty, thus I have this subconscious expectation that she put forth hers too. A relationship to me is pointless if it's an entangled web of lies.
No worries, I don't take any offence. Reality is harsh indeed..
This is something I need to work on. Thanks for the advice :)
@OneSoga: Go
I'm open to both your opinions. Somehow you feel less alone when someone else can relate to what you've been through. So thanks for sharing. I went through exactly what you just described before. And you're right, its not pretty. Hurt me deeply.. haha, thats an understatement.. She destroyed me.. The me of 2 years ago, is dead. I was able to build myself back to be a much stronger person now thanks to support from my family and friends. You could say it triggered somewhat of an epiphany.. Being sad is a choice. Being offended by what someone says is a choice. Hell, getting angry is a choice. In the end, you are in control.
Yes, I do believe in god. But I'm not religious. In the past, I used to say prayers, for things that never came. When I questioned why not, I would just be told, "It's not meant to be". I couldn't accept that answer.. I eventually came to the conclusion that if you want something, you have to do something about it. Praying and hoping just doesn't cut it for me anymore. Again, I don't mean to offend anyone who staunchly believes in religion. I respect every individual for what they believe in, and in exchange, I (subconsciously) expect that I'm respected in the same way.
To Be Continued... Back to work for now >_>
This post was written after the post above, give me a moment to write up another in response.
Rain can cause depression, anger, sadness, etc. You really don't want to go outside because you'll get wet and are forced to stay inside, but you really want to go outside and enjoy the sun. The sun's beautiful, it just brings out the whole summer feel that most get excited about. Sometimes we get wet by that rain and its not fun, especially when that rain turns into hail and hurts like heck.
When we get wet we tend to get angry, harbor hate inside us, come into periodic states of depression, etc. Sometimes when we're that wet, we're vulnerable to the, "I don't care," state of mind. Eventually when that anger increases because its still raining outside we start thinking, "I don't care." This thought can lead to, drugs, murder and very, very immoral things. Why? Because you start thinking, "I don't care, my girlfriend didn't mean anything to me anyway," that thought will usually lead to having more girlfriends where you really don't care what they do to you. Then comes, "Whatever, I don't need a girlfriend." Your getting angry now, so angry that your getting angry at the littlest things in life, whether it be dropping a cup or a noise that bothers the heck out of you. Then you get the thought, "I don't care that I am angry." This leads to murder if you leave it be long enough. Anger isn't something you can control, it leaps out at the most unexpected moments that in the next hour, you will probably forget you were even angry.
All of that does not sound like a nice place to be when you go back to remembering when you were happy. It's not good to be angry, so many people with such bright futures get ruined by anger. If you get your towel and dry off that rain, or put that umbrella up to stop the hail, eventually the rain will stop and so will the hail. The beautiful sun is coming out now, things are looking brighter. So bright you need to put shades on.
To sum that up, when you let rain harbor on your shoulders, you get angry and it leads to destruction. If you forgive someone, you can dry off that rain and stop that hail. Soon after you've forgiven the person you are angry about the sun comes out and things are looking brighter. You have a amazing job, you have a honest girlfriend with morals and are soon getting married.
My question is, what would you rather have? Would you rather keep the rain or let the sun come out and shine all over you.
Do you want to be a giving man or a taking man? (Giving meaning, forgiveness and taking meaning, taking life because that's what anger does.)
Forgiveness does indeed take time, I have not met one man that can forgive right away, but I am sure its possible, not for me though, not yet.
Ask yourself, "Why can I not forgive this person?" It's probably for selfish reasons, most humans that can't forgive have a selfish reason behind it. Yeah, he bullied you, it's not a fun place to be in, I can relate. I was bullied at my church for awhile, in fact, when a couple years ago one guy probably 4 years older then me literally pulled my pants down in front of the whole class. That angered me a lot, but I had to forgive, otherwise I would become exactly like that person, maybe even more.
Do you really want to bully people and cause them the same self-esteem issues? Just from reading some of the posts you put on these forums, I can really see in you that you don't intend to hurt anyone or cause anyone harm. I see that personality in you, even if its just over the web, it's obvious, inside you may really want to get your revenge but it's not worth it man, just forgive and move on with life. I'm not forcing you to forgive someone or even like someone. You can forgive and not have to talk to that person ever again if you want.
Why would you want to steal her? Even after a move like that? Why would you want to have a dishonest girlfriend or even future dishonest wife? You have to forgive her though, it's not worth causing people harm. Even when your intentions might be justified, it can really backfire on you, believe me.
Indeed it is, my friend. And if you have any questions about God or whatever be, just toss me a PM. I can tell you, "It was not meant to be," is a bunch of lies.
The OP mentions that hate is acceptable if it doesn't have any negative consequence on you. But, it always does. There is nothing wrong with hating other than it being an action that only hurts you. The other guy is banging your ex and couldn't give two fucks about you. Who loses here?
In my opinion, the worst thing you can do to someone is indifference. Let's say someone were to drop dead. A person who liked him would be sad, a person who disliked him would be happy, and a person indifferent wouldn't give a shit. You are giving no respect, disrespect, attention, thought, or care. It's like they don't exist.
Finally, you do not have to forgive anyone. That is religious dogma being fed to you. I am a firm believer that some things simply can't be taken back or made up for. However, this doesn't mean you should manifest it into negative actions or hate.
@FuzzYD: Go
Im just going to put my simple outlook. Even though i don't hate anyone its pefectly fine to, just give them a chance for redemption every once in a while. I think if you can hate somebody as a natural impression being that you dislike them enough then its perfectly ok, its even ok for them to know that you hate them.
disregard this post.
I think you may have misinterpreted what I said here >_> I meant to imply that if I ever "stole" anyone's girlfriend, I would be totally oblivious to the fact that I did it at all, simply because the girl probably lied, played with me and said she didn't have a boyfriend, and I trusted her. If I consciously knew the girl was tied, knowing myself, I wouldn't have even made a move in the first place.
And yes, I can't bear the idea of having a dishonest girlfriend or wife, thus I'd rather just bail and move on without a second thought. Then again.. if it was a wife and you found out after years of marriage that she was being dishonest/cheating with kids and all, it gets even more complicated..
I used to trust people really easily last time, but I now, I find that its a better idea to give trust in small amounts. If you give it all and you catch them being dishonest, its likely you'll have none left to give thereafter.
Edit:
I absolutely abhor to the thought of bullying anyone. I know it's not pleasant being hurt, thus is the reason why I don't bully others. I'm most likely to go with forgive and never talk with the person ever again.
@FuzzYD: Go
My bad, I guess I did read that wrong. Sorry!
@FuzzYD: Go
To hate is to be human
And here is a Quote from one of the dark masters.
"Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain stregnth. Through stregnth I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory...my chains are broken." - a Sith proverb
@SouLCarveRR: Go
I hope you understand what that means.