So my gf and I can't date anymore... Because of me, heres the issue, her parents and she agrees with them that she is not allowed to date anyone who doesn't believe and LOVE god more than anything... Sigh... Heres how it started (I remembered as much as I could, so it's not exactly what)
-me- "Hey, I gotta tell you something, you know how when we have dinner together we pray to god and stuff... Well, I don't believe in him, his actions, etc... It just doesn't seem logic to me believing in some old book, yeah Jesus was a real person... But I don't believe the stories... Like, Moses basically said "Hey, I just talk to god and he thinks we should worship him more and follow his commandments" and everyone said "Okay!" Does that seem like something people would do? Just, believing some rusty old book that some person wrote is kinda... Kinda weird... I just don't believe in god...We don't have any evidence... Is that okay?"
-her- "... My parents say I can't go out with anyone who doesn't believe in god... And love him more than anything.... I'm sorry but hes been a big part of my life..."
-me- "oh..."
(NO OFFENSE to anyone who is Christian or catholic, im not religious,)
How can I fix this..? Everything is screwed up, theres other parts I can't remember where she invites me to her church, then l8er gets mad saying that I insulted her religion...
Shes really nice, until recently, she NEVER got mad... But... What can I do..? We wanted to spend our time together throughout the best years, Middle school, yet I told her the truth, and she just... Just everything changes...
I think that if this is a problem, it will be hard to overcome. It is religion, after all. I believe that difference in religious beliefs should not determine whether or not you can marry. If it is really her parents' idea and not hers, I would either convert or let go. If I were in your position, I would let go. Of course, I do not know the depths of your relationship and I might be saying the wrong thing, but there are plenty of other fish in the ocean. You must determine whether or not the effort it takes to catch the "fish" is worth the "fish" itself. I mean, I'm not a relationship expert, but you came to SC2Mapster to ask this question, after all.
She's a Christian, if she's a real Christian she won't change her mind on that. And if you're not a Christian and she is and you end up going as far as marriage, it'll make things really tough in your marriage.
well for starters you should have realized that her family believes in these beliefs, and to keep your mouth shut. You basically walked on their beliefs and insulted them. Move on.
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well for starters you should have realized that her family believes in these beliefs, and to keep your mouth shut.
we have always told each other everything, we said we wouldn't keep secrets from each other... It's radical honesty,
And I just want to make it so shes not mad at me... Ik that it's religion and that it won't work out... But she still likes me, just we can't date & stuff, but how can I have her not to be mad?
we have always told each other everything, we said we wouldn't keep secrets from each other... It's radical honesty,
And I just want to make it so shes not mad at me... Ik that it's religion and that it won't work out... But she still likes me, just we can't date stuff, but how can I have her not to be mad?
I see pretty much 3 options here:
Be the hypocrite and tell them you're becoming religious - or at least agnostic (=not ruling out God's existence, but just not being sure about it)
Tell them that one of the most important things Christianity teaches us is tolerance and that they should be a damn bit more tolerant (perhaps a different choice of words..).
Just be friends and - who knows - maybe things will cool down after a while.
Religious people wouldn't be such a pain if they all believed in what their religion actually tells them. It's fun how they believe in the stupid concepts (existence of God, virgin mother, etc) but not in the important ones (charity, tolerance, etc).
We humans always find new and old ways to make life hard for each other :/
I don't really have any good advice I can give, but that really sucks. I know a friend who is very religious, and once he was asked what he would do if his gf, who had a different belief would not convert. He nonchalantly said he would have no choice but to break up with her. Lucky for him, it seems she decided to walk the same path.
The thing about religious people is they aren't very open minded... honestly I feel to a certain extent that that also makes them very selfish.
PS: I grew up in a christian upbringing, but I just couldn't accept the answer "it's not meant to be" when my prayers were never answered. Which is the reason why I believe in god, but not in religion/prayer.
I'm sorry but I have to agree with her, Someone who believes in one religion and someone who doesnt will only cause problems down the line, and dont pretend that would just be a huge insult.
Be the hypocrite and tell them you're becoming religious - or at least agnostic (=not ruling out God's existence, but just not being sure about it)
Tell them that one of the most important things Christianity teaches us is tolerance and that they should be a damn bit more tolerant (perhaps a different choice of words..).
Just be friends and - who knows - maybe things will cool down after a while.
Religious people wouldn't be such a pain if they all believed in what their religion actually tells them. It's fun how they believe in the stupid concepts (existence of God, virgin mother, etc) but not in the important ones (charity, tolerance, etc).
We humans always find new and old ways to make life hard for each other :/
Thanks, this helped, I guess we can be friends... But nothing will be the same, we used to visit each other every day, now I haven't seen her (except for school) since this happened... Which was about a week ago
I think that that's a completely moronic statement. If her making him pray doesn't walk on and insult his beliefs, how does him just saying he doesn't believe what she believes insult hers?
If I say 2 + 2 = 5 and you say you're pretty sure that it actually equals 4, is it right to feel that you're walking on and insulting my idea?
If I say 2 + 2 = 5 and you say you're pretty sure that it actually equals 4, is it right to feel that you're walking on and insulting my idea?
Except 2+2 equaling is objectively incorrect. This is a subjective matter with not clear cut lines. It has more to do with the glass half full or half empty perspectives.
So my gf and I can't date anymore... Because of me, heres the issue, her parents and she agrees with them that she is not allowed to date anyone who doesn't believe and LOVE god more than anything... Sigh... Heres how it started (I remembered as much as I could, so it's not exactly what)
-me- "Hey, I gotta tell you something, you know how when we have dinner together we pray to god and stuff... Well, I don't believe in him, his actions, etc... It just doesn't seem logic to me believing in some old book, yeah Jesus was a real person... But I don't believe the stories... Like, Moses basically said "Hey, I just talk to god and he thinks we should worship him more and follow his commandments" and everyone said "Okay!" Does that seem like something people would do? Just, believing some rusty old book that some person wrote is kinda... Kinda weird... I just don't believe in god...We don't have any evidence... Is that okay?"
-her- "... My parents say I can't go out with anyone who doesn't believe in god... And love him more than anything.... I'm sorry but hes been a big part of my life..."
-me- "oh..."
(NO OFFENSE to anyone who is Christian or catholic, im not religious,)
How can I fix this..? Everything is screwed up, theres other parts I can't remember where she invites me to her church, then l8er gets mad saying that I insulted her religion...
Shes really nice, until recently, she NEVER got mad... But... What can I do..? We wanted to spend our time together throughout the best years, Middle school, yet I told her the truth, and she just... Just everything changes...
Halp?
I think that if this is a problem, it will be hard to overcome. It is religion, after all. I believe that difference in religious beliefs should not determine whether or not you can marry. If it is really her parents' idea and not hers, I would either convert or let go. If I were in your position, I would let go. Of course, I do not know the depths of your relationship and I might be saying the wrong thing, but there are plenty of other fish in the ocean. You must determine whether or not the effort it takes to catch the "fish" is worth the "fish" itself. I mean, I'm not a relationship expert, but you came to SC2Mapster to ask this question, after all.
She's a Christian, if she's a real Christian she won't change her mind on that. And if you're not a Christian and she is and you end up going as far as marriage, it'll make things really tough in your marriage.
@SnyderGuy: Go
well for starters you should have realized that her family believes in these beliefs, and to keep your mouth shut. You basically walked on their beliefs and insulted them. Move on.
we have always told each other everything, we said we wouldn't keep secrets from each other... It's radical honesty,
And I just want to make it so shes not mad at me... Ik that it's religion and that it won't work out... But she still likes me, just we can't date & stuff, but how can I have her not to be mad?
I see pretty much 3 options here:
Religious people wouldn't be such a pain if they all believed in what their religion actually tells them. It's fun how they believe in the stupid concepts (existence of God, virgin mother, etc) but not in the important ones (charity, tolerance, etc).
We humans always find new and old ways to make life hard for each other :/
Oh good fucking god...
No pun intended.
.. And you thought SC2Mapster where the place to ask about your relationship?
Get another fish.
I don't really have any good advice I can give, but that really sucks. I know a friend who is very religious, and once he was asked what he would do if his gf, who had a different belief would not convert. He nonchalantly said he would have no choice but to break up with her. Lucky for him, it seems she decided to walk the same path.
The thing about religious people is they aren't very open minded... honestly I feel to a certain extent that that also makes them very selfish.
PS: I grew up in a christian upbringing, but I just couldn't accept the answer "it's not meant to be" when my prayers were never answered. Which is the reason why I believe in god, but not in religion/prayer.
I'm sorry but I have to agree with her, Someone who believes in one religion and someone who doesnt will only cause problems down the line, and dont pretend that would just be a huge insult.
Thanks, this helped, I guess we can be friends... But nothing will be the same, we used to visit each other every day, now I haven't seen her (except for school) since this happened... Which was about a week ago
@SouLCarveRR: Go
I think that that's a completely moronic statement. If her making him pray doesn't walk on and insult his beliefs, how does him just saying he doesn't believe what she believes insult hers?
If I say 2 + 2 = 5 and you say you're pretty sure that it actually equals 4, is it right to feel that you're walking on and insulting my idea?
Except 2+2 equaling is objectively incorrect. This is a subjective matter with not clear cut lines. It has more to do with the glass half full or half empty perspectives.
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Good news: She foorgives me and stuff, but we cant date, but were still very good friends :D