Norge, altså? Ikke verst. :D Rart jeg ikke har lagt merke til det før.
I've corrected some of your spelling errors:
She lives such a calm and peaceful life. It was a long time since I was content with peace and quiet.
That second sentence is a bit odd. Is she saying she is no longer content with peace and quiet? Because that is what I read.
Yes, a mere routine mission. It's not even classified. We're just escorting some engineers to a broken Psi Command on some world.
The comma fits better after the "yes". "It's not even classified" works best as its own sentence.
I won't. Let's get together for a drink when I return.
All signals from the Psi Command Center has vanished from our sensors. The device should be located in near proximity of the landing site.
"Near" and "proximity" mean the same thing.
Ofcourse. The true mistake was sending such a prominent agent out on such a trivial mission. Bio-Tech should really go through their own routines.
Warning. An enemy fleet have emerged from a cloaking field and are engaging our orbital command ship.
Most of this is pretty good. Only trivial mistakes, really.
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njordys AuthorHi. I am making a new mission on my Bio-Tech Campaign project
I am trying to make more involving maps by adding story elements. Previous feedback on my missions have been that the story was cheesy and lacking, and that spelling errors where abundant. So I was hoping that by posting the script for the map here I could get some feedback on that story and sort out spelling errors before I upload my mission.
SCRIPT:
Tom Jane, wait.
Did you get my message?
Jane Yes. I want to thank you again. My mother would be worried sick if she did not get any sign of life from me.
Tom She is a sweet lady. I think she would be even more worried if she knew what you where doing for a living.
Jane She live such a calm and peaceful life. It was a long time since I was content with peace and quiet.
Tom I know. I'm of the same sort.
Are you heading out on an assignment?
Jane Yes. A mere routine mission, it's not even classified. We're just escorting some engineers to a broken Psi Command on some world.
Tom Don't let the Zerglings bite.
Jane I won't. Let's get togheter for a drink when I return.
Tom Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Take care.
Jane Bye.
-Adjutant All signals from the Psi Command Center has vanished from our sensors. The device should be located in near proximity of the landing site.
Jane Ok, guys. While the Psi Command is offline the Zerg is cranky and aggresive. We need to find the Psi Emitter and mark it so our engineers can find it and fix it.
Jane This planet used to be a colony. The supplies they left us might be useful.
-Jane There is the Psi Command Center
Something is wrong here. This look like.. sabotage.
Adair It's exactly what it is.
Jane What? Who are you?
Adair I'm one of those who have suffered from Bio-Tech's reckless operations. My employeers seek to destroy the Bio-Tech Company.
Jane Ha. Well, we control countless Psi Command's. You'll have a hard time putting them all down. This will only lead our attention to you.
Adair Mistake? No.. It lead you right into our arms, now, didn't it.. Jane.
Jane You know who I am?
Adair Ofcourse. The true mistake was sending such a prominent agent out on such a trivial mission. Bio-Tech should really go throught their own routines.
But then again, you know all about those routines, don't you?
And as such, you can prove very valuable to us.
Adjutant We have lost contact with agent Jane Dias
Warning. An enemy fleet have emerged from a cloak field and are engaging our orbital command ship.
Sending a distress signal to the Bio-Tech Headquarters.